The concept of conflict is familiar to all of us. It typically occurs when another person fails to meet our expectations. Sometimes, these failures are obvious and mean-spirited. At other times, the conflict is subtle and ambiguous. It is during such times of low-grade conflict where micro-aggressions occur.

A micro-aggression is a hurtful act, intentional or otherwise, that doesn’t appear too bad on the surface. Such micro-aggressions can come the form of absence - such as being ignored, neglected, or not chosen. Examples of micro-aggressions that come in the form of presence include criticism, complaint, or comparison. Either way, any one micro-aggression can typically be tolerated. The problem arises when an accumulation of micro-aggressions occur. What happens is that these micro-aggressions pile up until they force us to our breaking point. Then, things get ugly quick. 

Ask yourself, “What type of micro-aggressions do I do toward my partner or children?” or “What type of micro-aggressions do others do toward me?”

Getting to know your micro-aggressions can help alleviate a lot of conflict.