What we know to be true about our self, our situation, and our future can be whittled down to a few basic kernels.
Kernel One: What we know to be true about anything and everything is configured based on the way we see a situation. In this way, our vital and most basic worldview is uniquely and profoundly shaped by perception.
Kernel Two: Perception is grounded in what we have learned. It is our learning history, therefore, that colors our ability to make sense of nonsense. Unfortunately, we do not always swiftly remember what we have learned. In fact, we have forgotten much more than we will ever remember. But we do hang onto what we forget - at least whispers and threads. The repository of our forgotten knowledge is our unconscious mind.
Kernel Three: Related to the above situation, it is the stuff in the back of our minds that becomes the source of our personal quirks. While our everyday mind is working swiftly and efficiently by accessing logical and emotional judgment, our view of reality becomes uniquely twisted by the forces of deception, delusion, and distortion. The mind is not interested in being crowned incomparable, but it is highly motivated to be seen as logical, steady, and blameless.
Kernel Four: Since our view of reality is prone to impression management (seeing the world based on templates of past impressions), learning and unlearning are equally tricky. If learning requires unlearning, and we don’t have readied access to what we have forgotten, how does new learning occur? After a certain point, do we ever learn anything new or merely experience a revised version of what has been forgotten?
What additional kernels come to your mind?
Much has been written about the mind - the “thing” inside of permits us to become aware of ourselves, our situation, and our future. In this way, it is our mind that permits self-consciousness and our ability to “know.” While scholarship has grown immensely over the years about brain functioning and other matters of the mind, much remains unknown or uncertain about the mind and its operation. Perhaps this is why the mind is often referred to as “the black box.”
Some people (behaviorists) focus on what happens in the external or public world and ignore, even discredit, what is happening in the internal or private world of our mind. In this way, the black box is not directly addressed and remains closed. Yet, for others, keeping the lid closed on the black box is unthinkable, even absurd.
If the black box is what allows us to know about the world, our self, and, most uniquely, our place in the world, then our willingness to reopen the black box is what encourages self-discovery. It is this reopening that gives to us a uniquely human capacity to recognize our inner conflicts and understand what makes us unique and others tick. By opening the black box at the right time through contemplation, self-reflection, and the request of feedback, our ability to grow and develop is accelerated. Stated another way, keeping the lid on the black box, which is equivalent to suppressing self-discovery, is equivalent to endorsing the continuation of self-deception.
If we all lie to ourselves at one time or another (self-deception), it is through learning how to speak our deeper, more aware, less denying truth that stimulates self-growth and strengthens personal development. In this way, learning and growing up is best accomplished by reopening the black box the right amount at the right time in the presence of the right person for the right reason.
A “state” is a means to an end. Put another way, the only way to get somewhere is to know, at least partially, where one is going. When it comes to the mind, its job is to do precisely this - to know where you are going before you get there. The problem is that sometimes our minds work too well. This phenomenon of “knowing” can get in the way of “being” or “doing.”
In this way, a “state of mind” is something that can interrupt our desire to connect with others. If our mind tells us that “we’re not good enough,” or “we’re not attractive enough,” or “don’t go over there, you’ll just get rejected again,” then it is likely that we will let our mind, which has made up its mind, guide our actions and control our destiny.
If you are finding yourself trapped in a “state of mind,” then you may want to consider “getting out of your mind,” which implies moving back into your experience so that your mind has more information from which to make up its new mind.
Another way of looking at this same thing is consider the phrase “balance in motion.” When we lose our balance in life, often times, we also stop moving - our motion stops and we become STUCK. To get unstuck, many people believe we should find our balance first and then we will start moving. What if this is wrong. What if getting unstuck in life is a lot like learning how to ride a bike. If your child asked you to teach him to ride his first bike, would you have him jump on the seat and sit there without moving for a week or so. This sounds pretty silly. But that is what many of us do with our life when it becomes stuck.
Returning back to the bike example. If life is like this, then when we get stuck, the idea is that we have to move in order to find balance. This obviously takes some risk. After all, it is possible we can fall of the bike. But, you have to admit, at least when we fall we’re making new memories as opposed to repeating our old memories over and over - which is what it is like to be stuck in a state of mind.
