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The official blog of familyWORKZ™

August 4, 2009

Tough Times, Tough People & Tough Issues

Filed under: General psychology — Tags: — admin @ 3:24 pm

Being tough on issues and tender on people is tricky stuff. Learning how to have a difficult conversation with an otherwise reasonable person or having an otherwise reasonable conversation with a difficult person requires the willingness to “get out of our minds” and begin thinking about the situation in a way not previously considered.

If we stay in our usual minds, the problem doesn’t go away. In fact, more often than not, things get worse. Why? Because our default way of dealing with problems, likely emboldened by evolutionary thrust, is to make the other person the problem rather than making the problem the problem.

If you needed to think twice about this last thought, then you likely had a moment when you were out of your mind. This is not bad place to be. In fact, it is where we do most of our best learning. Unfortunately, when our minds already have made up their minds, then they close down, no longer being interested in learning anything new. Who knew?

When you strike tough times with a tough person involving a tough issue, dare yourself to have a second thought instead of remaining hyper-focused on the first thought that came to your mind.

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